April is Nat'l Stress Awareness Month

It's National Stress Awareness Month.  Just knowing that makes me more acutely aware of how much LESS stress I have in my life than I previously did.  
Used to be that I looked for opportunities to add more stress to life; mistakenly believing that it wasn't hurtful....it was exciting!  Sure, I'll see 3 more patients this week, drive 100 miles a day round trip and of course I'll be ready to go out on the town on Friday night.  Can't let anyone down, now can I?
Those were the days when I routinely worked 60 hours a week.  I raised three wonderful kids but didn't spend near enough time with them because of all my "obligations".  I didn't learn to say "no" for many years, regrettably missing out on many special moments I'll never get back. 
Stress finally kicked my butt when I suddenly started having rashes all over my body and ran an occasional fever.  Sure, it was a stressful time in my life...I was getting remarried, trying to blend a family that didn't want blended, starting a new job, dealing with a challenging ex-husband.  What doctors initially diagnosed as "chronic poison ivy" turned out to be Lupus.

Lupus thrives on stress. There are times when things are very stressful that I can actually feel the toxins moving through my body, burning & aching, sucking up all my energy.  I continued to try to live my regular lifestyle, working & playing too hard.  There was one day in particular that I recall literally falling to the floor when trying to leave the house for work.  My body simply gave up.  Years went by with me struggling to find a way to accommodate Lupus and slowing down.   Ironically, one of my duties as an occupational therapist was to help people adjust to changes in their bodies & lifestyles, teach them to pace themselves and adapt.  I sucked at taking my own advice.  
Again, Lupus decided to kick my behind to get my attention.  I had a small stroke that affected my left side.  I refused to get help for it, giving myself therapy and hiding the symptoms.  I got most of my muscle strength & coordination back, but was left with residual memory problems.  This really affected my ability to do my job well and REALLY affected my self-esteem.  All of the sudden, I felt dumb.  I had a hard time making change at the drive-thru's.  I couldn't remember appointments, much less do the paperwork for my job.  Eventually, I applied for disability and finally got it after fighting for it for 3 years.
Now I live a fairly stress-free life.  In fact, I sometimes get stressed out at how to fill the hours of this stress-free life.